• The Goblin Count

    Goblins Killed: 3
    Goblins Jailed: 3
    Goblins Needing Medical Help: 3
    Goblins Escaped (boo!): 3
    Citizens saved: 7
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Oh, Mon, sorry

A story of two goblins out to rob a convenience store when one of them doesn’t know how to operate a gun. from radio Jamaica,

A would-be robber was shot dead by his crony after the two attempted to rob a grocery store in Stony Hill, St. Andrew Thursday night.

Usually we talk about citizens protecting themselves but this qualifies as dumb, bad and dead.

Cowen Eddie, 48, who is more popularly known as “Chei” of Brooks Level Road in Stony Hill is dead.

He was shot and killed after he and another man, both of whom were armed with guns, went to a shop in Stony Hill about 10:20pm where Eddie ordered cigarettes.

This doesn’t sound bad, but wait for it…

While being served, Eddie reportedly opened fire, hitting the store clerk.

I guess he wanted the other brand of cancer sticks.

His crony then started firing wildly and in the process, shot Eddie who died on the spot.

“Sorry Mon, thats a big hole, let me try to fix that.”

This is why dumb goblins shouldn’t have guns


Two out of four ain’t bad

On 11/17/08 a Monday evening, some goblins walked into Youssouf Drame’s variety store in the Crown Heights section of Brooklyn, NY and being stupid goblins they decided to rob the place.

“They stormed in and said, ‘Everyone get down” said Drummond Bignott, 19, an employee. Bignott was then pistol-whipped, sending him sprawling to the floor. A second man demanded that Drame, 35, hand over the store’s cash register, but the shop owner pushed back and grabbed his attacker’s handgun, Bignott said.

“He was fighting with the guys and took the gun away,” Bignott said. “And then everyone started shooting.”

Despite being hit in the stomach, Drame squeezed off several shots, fatally wounding two of the would-be robbers.

Thank you, Mr Drame.

A yet unidentified man was hit several times in the abdomen and died in the store. The second looser Leon Harris, 26, was hit in the torso and staggered outside and collapsed on the sidewalk. He died at a local hospital shortly there after.

Two lookouts managed to escape, oh well, as meatloaf or in this case Ted Nugent would sing “Two out of Four ain’t bad”

Mr. Drame underwent surgery and is currently in critical condition will not face charges. He better not! He is a hero!

I hope this warns all you ill tempered goblins out there, commit a crime, end up dead. It will probably not, but then I would have to close this little blog down.

And I like this.

Shreveport goblin killed when he attempted robery

I found this story here.

A Shreveport man was killed when he tried to rob two men sitting in their car. Well the dead man walking decided he could make money easier stealing it instead of working I guess.

Police responding to hearing gunshots found Messiah Demery, 27, shot once in the chest.

Police said Demery had been trying to rob two men — Rodrigus Kennedy and Shamicheal Kennedy — as they sat in a car in the driveway of the house. Rodrigus got a gun and shot Demery, police said.

Police found the gun used in the shooting, they also found some marijuana where the gun is so Rodrigus is going to jail because of that.

The dummy decided to rob a guy with some pot. He didn’t want to share so he shot him. this story would have been nicer with some innocent people involved, but one less goblin is one less goblin is one less goblin.

Gainesville robber gains some lead

On Saturday November the 8th a wanna-be robber walked into a convenience store and demanded money. This is a stupid idea to start with but this goblin had the misfortune to try to rob a store that had been robbed the day before.

Well, we never have said goblins are smart. I hope this ends bad for the goblin.

The dumb goblin walked up to the clerk, who was apparently talking on the phone.

That’s when the idiot demanded cash.

The clerk asked him to repeat what he had said. He again demanded cash and this time fired a round from his gun inside the store.

That must have gotten the clerks undivided attention, poor goblin. Snirk..

The clerk pulled a gun from under the counter and shot him in the chest. Yes, way to go clerk.

The Gainesville Police Department spent much of Sunday afternoon searching for the would-be robber.

I would try any area ER or the Morgue. ROTF LMAO

The man was described as white, in his early to mid 20’s with short hair that may have been blonde.

With a big hole in his chest.

That is all

Goblin wears mask, threatens clerk, is shot dead

In Jackson, MS a perpetrator walks into the Chuk Stop wearing a clown mask, and robs it. He then threatened the store clerk, who followed 23-year-old Terrence Prior of Jackson from the store, chased him and shot him, police will not charge him with murder, JPD spokesman Lt. Jeffery Scott said.

“In my opinion, what the clerk did was well with the parameters of the Castle Doctrine law,” Scott said Monday, referring to a 2-year-old law that allows Mississippians to not retreat but use deadly force when they believe they are in imminent danger.

That’s good news to all us law abiding citizens.

Scott said Prior did several things that gave the store clerk the right, under the law, to shoot him.
“After the alleged robbery occurred, the suspect pointed the weapon as he was walking out, like he was saying, ‘Don’t follow me, or I’m going to kill you,’ ” Scott said. “He didn’t just take the money and leave. That’s when the clerk felt threatened, and that’s when he retrieved his weapon and started after the suspect.”
Scott said the Castle Doctrine also holds up if a property owner intervenes during a felony. Armed robbery is a felony.
The last thing Prior did was shoot at the clerk as the clerk was chasing him, Scott said.

What did Forest Gump say? “Stupid is as stupid does.”

Charlie Ross, who drafted the Castle Doctrine law when he was a state senator, said he agreed with police not charging the clerk.
“The guy who committed the crime is the guy who came in the store with the gun and the mask,” Ross said.

You guys have a good legislator there. You might want to keep him.
I love the comment in the article from the person who owns the business next door to the chuk stop.

Derek Smith, owner of the Next Level Car Wash, which is located next door to the Chuk Stop, said he can’t understand why so many people are robbing each other.
“It’s sad that the young people around here don’t want to work and they want to take from the people who work hard everyday,” Smith said.

You said it all, Sir.

Dumb crook shoots self in the foot

From Chicago the story of a stupid crook that bungled a robbery.

Would-be robber shoots himself in foot, gets stabbed, then arrested, police say

A robber’s plan to hold up a Southwest Side convenience store Monday afternoon took a different turn: The robber shot himself in the foot, got stabbed by a store employee and ended up in police custody at a city hospital, Chicago police said.

Shot himself in the foot… ROTFLMAO
Its sounds like he got what he deserved.

The botched robbery attempt unfolded about 3 p.m. Monday in the Brighton Mini Mart, 2532 W. 47th St., when two men entered the store and one pointed a handgun at the owners and demanded cash, police said.

As the assailants made their demands, a 24-year-old employee at the store resisted the armed man, who, during the struggle, accidentally shot himself in the foot. The 61-year-old owner of the store then apparently grabbed a knife and stabbed the wounded robber in the back, authorities said.

Stupid goblin thinks that he can just rob someone without getting what for, not in that part of Chicago.

An employee at the store Tuesday declined to comment about the robbery.

He was probably laughing too hard.

The two assailants fled to a getaway car, but the wounded robber was arrested after trying to get treatment for his injuries at Provident Hospital of Cook County, a police spokeswoman said.

He had not been charged as of Tuesday afternoon. No other arrests have had been made.

Darn, well hopefully the goblin will give him up. One idiot goblin off the street is always good news.

Not so easy pickings

Stop me if you know this joke.

A goblin walks into a convenience store, thinking that he will get some easy money from us law abiding citizens. He pulls a gun, so does the clerk, but the goblin is a lousy shoot, and the clerk isn’t.

Found at MyDesert.com

A man was shot Tuesday morning as he tried to rob a Coachella convenience store, according to the Riverside County Sheriff’s Department.

The man entered the Y and M Market in the 1500 block of Second Street about 10:40 a.m. and brandished a handgun.

Gunfire was exchanged between the suspect and a store employee and the suspect was shot, according to the sheriff’s department.

Stupid Goblin, citzens are alowed to be armed. Maybe you will go find a job, after you do time for this.

The suspect fled the scene in a vehicle with a woman. They did not get away with any money.

No one in the store was injured.

I am so glad that the clerk did not get hurt. I’m sure that the Goblin will show up soon at a hospital because he is perforated and then he will be arrested.

The Management,
Remember, when seconds count, the police are minutes away.